We here at DRIVEN are big fans of lame puns wordplay. We enjoy a certain old-school slavering for the rock love of music. And as Canadians, we are also tolerant joyfully accepting of snow, in mass quantities. Which is why we can tolerate the following lame puns that slaver mostly to old-school rock, courtesy of The Guardian’s music blog yesterday, ‘reporting’ metaphorically on the snowdump that froze London:

The Rolling Stones, “Sleet fighting man”
The Beach Boys, “Wouldn’t it be ice”
The Beatles, “Snowball you need is love”

But wait: to use Brit-speak, it gets dodgier!

The above were written by The Guardian’s bloggers. The following were courtesy of the comments field:

Queen, “Icicle race”
Michael Jackson, “Sleet it”
The Rolling Stones, “(I can’t get snow) Satisfaction”
Shania Twain, “Snowman! I feel like a woman” [Actually, not bad]
Great Whiteout, “Frostbitten, twice shy” [OK, pretty damn clever]

The sad truth is that the whole exercise in killing time proved its worth to this jaded blogger when I read the following reference to not just ABBA, but also legendary BBC comedy character Alan Partridge, whose trademark “A-ha!” deftly transitions from catch-phrase to rimshot:

ABBA, “Snowing me, snowing you” (A-ha!)

Now, that being said, in the name of Celine Dion, please do not fill the DRIVEN comments field with comparable suggestions.

Please.

I mean it.

For example,

The Tragically Hip, “Fully, completely snowed in” —No thanks.
Bryan Adams, “Cuts like an ice” —Seriously, no thanks.
Maestro Fresh Westerly, “Let your backbone slipslide” —Stop it.
Neil Young, “Cowgirl in the snowbank” —I said, stop it.
Neil Young, “After the slushrush” —Please, God, make it stop!
Neil Young, “Like a blizzard” —I quit.

(Main picture by MyspaceAntics)