Due to an anticipated high demand, we proudly present, as a supplement to Knockworst on page 51 of DRIVEN’s Comedy Issue, even more completely original Knock-knock jokes of disproportionately dubious quality. For you to use at parties and such.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dion.

Dion who?

Dion’ly way you’re going to be Prime Minister is… Well, to be quite honest, it’s just not going to happen.

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Jintao.

Jintao who?

Actually, when referring to China’s president, it’s more correct to say “Hu Jintao.”

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hinterland who’s.

Hinterland who’s who?

The woodchuck, also called the groundhog, is one of the larger Canadian rodents. A mature adult may weigh up to 17 pounds. In winter he depends almost entirely upon body fat, until April, when new plant food reappears. Like the beaver, the woodchuck’s front gnawing teeth grow continuously, except during hibernation; constant grinding tears them down. The breeding period lasts three months, when from four to five young are usual. In May, at about seven weeks, the young are weaned and cautiously begin to forage on their own; however, they still depend almost entirely on their mother to warn them of impending danger. For more information on the woodchuck, contact the Canadian Wildlife Service, in Ottawa.

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Knock.

Knock who?

That’s what *she* said!

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Top image from the Topps Funny Li’l Joke Books series, Vol. 1: Knock-knock jokes (1970); via Sam’s Toybox