Father’s day is almost here. You’ve given him ties. You’ve given him golf balls. You’ve maybe even given him a set of barbeque accessories (not that he ever wears that “hail to the chef” apron). If you’re looking for an equally stereotypical and undeniably last-minute gift, you may be in luck — how happy he’ll be with it is another story.
If you can’t take your dad out to Pebble Beach this summer, why not give him sometime to do when he’s stuck in his office all day? The Miniature Book of Miniature Golf seems to offer Papa a small escape, and a chance to impress clients, challenge co-workers, and reminisce about the time he got a birdie at St. Andrews.
This is a book that isn’t quite. Sure it has pages, but they’re made of cardboard and are crafted into miniature golf holes. Players drop a small metal ball through the book’s cover, and when the page is turned it will be waiting for them at the start of the first hole. The same result occurs every time the player sinks a shot with the tiny plastic putter.
The object of the game is simple (and familiar to anyone who cared enough to read an article about a miniature golf book): to hit the ball into the hole in the fewest possible strokes. Each of the nine holes — ranging from par 2 to par 7 – has a brief synopsis and tips on the opposite page.
The holes are equipped with obstacles and water hazards (patches of blue cardboard that are lower than the felt). Par for the course is 29. I shot a 44, and I can tell you why: the greens are slow and feel almost magnetic. Plus, I had a couple of unanswered questions: Am I allowed to move the book, or do I have to manoeuvre my fingers into awkward (and often backhanded) positions? If my ball rolls over a water hazard and onto the green, do I still have to take a penalty stroke? I certainly didn’t.
Bad news for southpaws (er, southfingers), the putter is only flat on the right-handed side. I find this strange, and can only guess that legendary leftys Phil Mickelson and Mike Weir would be disappointed as well.
Overall, the book is like a more interactive, less discreet game of solitaire. Because the only real goal is to beat your own score, the novelty wears off fairly quickly. In fact, the par 7 hedge maze hole will make you feel like a golfer stuck in a sandtrap: frustrated, losing interest, and thinking “why in the hell did they have to build this?”
I would like to say that this book is the “perfect gift for father’s day”, but that would only be true if your like to see your father go from amused to slightly annoyed within about five minutes.
Sorry, book, but I’m going to have to put you down for a bogey.
