Those who can’t do, coach. Isn’t that a bedrock rule? There are all kinds of formerly mediocre players from all sports who went on to be great coaches, but the list of star players who were just as good standing behind the bench as jumping off it is a little slim. (See this list of some of the more notorious player-turned-coaches, for example.)

Argentina has been feeling the pain as of late with the antics of the coach of their national soccer team, the great Diego Maradona …

Since [Maradona] took over the team, it has won four World Cup qualifying matches and lost four, despite having standout international stars like Lionel Messi and Carlos Tévez. The team became a revolving door for Mr. Maradona’s indecision and experimentation; only one player, Mr. Messi, played in all eight of the matches that Mr. Maradona coached.

After losses to Paraguay and Brazil in September, with his team in seeming chaos, Mr. Maradona shocked the nation by flying to Italy for 11 days to go to a weight-loss spa. His doctor said the treatment had been planned ahead of time.

Mr. Maradona’s star sank even further, and a malaise swept the country. His failure as a coach not only was tarnishing his status as national icon, but also was on the verge of depriving Argentina of the right to play in the World Cup for the first time in 40 years.

And then, when the team started winning, Maradona just went ahead and ruined that by going on a bitter tirade against his detractors and making some, well, suggestive gestures to cameras while sitting on the team bus.

According to the New York Times story, things have gotten so bad that some Argentinian fans having been hoping for defeat:

Gustavo Sorange, 47, a carpenter from Gen. Juan Madariaga, southeast of Buenos Aires, said some of his friends were so disillusioned with Mr. Maradona that they rooted for Uruguay.

“They didn’t want Argentina to win because of Maradona,” he said, stunned at the betrayal. “That’s the way things are here in Argentina. You win well, you play beautifully. And if you don’t, then you’re not good for anything.”

Sitting here in Toronto, watching the Leafs try to find out if there’s a position beyond last place, and without even the benefit of a nutty coach to help excuse things, it’s hard not to think that a little victory-without-honour would he just fine, thanks.